A LETTER TO A FRIEND

Michael,
I couldn’t understand what just happened…
I got a fight with my ex-boyfriend (ok, I know that sounds
even weirder :p), the story went since I’ve been bothered
by some private no. calling me constantly and am
absolutely annoyed – well, it’s just me what is that
person afraid of?
Oh ya, he changed as soon as he moved to UI, lost contacts
for months, less sms and calls, never come by – he put his
parents’ pressure as reasons so that I couldn’t move at
all, finally he said it’s forbidden for his family that
older girl having relationship with him – that’s why we
broke up (he said he’d kept it since 6 months of our
relationship and he couldn’t stand it – another pressure -
anymore). It was 4 days before the hearings of my final
assignment, but I passed it and thanks for the A, cum
laude predicate and the graduation.
Then one night I am able to notice one no. and I
constantly annoyed the no. for a revenge ;p hehehehe… cant
blame myself! At a short run, the next night we end up
telling story thru sms … bla..bla…
He asked whether I am a lover? I said am a single fighter,
he replied by saying why didn’t I mention his name? am I
ashamed? No way… we’ve broken up, he didn’t have to know
my ex’s name… I utterly said he’s a bastard – well, HE IS…
he lied to me for 6 months of our relationship (we’ve been
2gther for a year b4 we finally decided 2 broke up). After
some chat we ended it coz it’s late already.
The next nite, he – he’s name is PAUL from British (that’s
what he said) – sms me again telling me that he knows
finally where does my no. come from in his cellphone, he
mentions my full name – I was shocked – I supposed only
close person could recall my full name (u know how long it
is…). I forced him to tell me who that person is… (am in a
process of forgive and forget of what happened to me) he
mentioned a name and I suddenly felt DEAD!
“So, u’ve met the bastard” – I rushed out those words.
Then, all of a sudden my ex took control of the cellphone
and sms me with that no. saying that am a backstabber that
for all these times he has taken good care of my name
(WHAT FOR?) and I repaid him a backstab… without saying
any apology for breaking up by phone not even trying to
care for what has happened, his promises (DARN IT…), my
feelings (I don’t know about his…). Paul said that my ex
had read all our sms and they had a chat about me and he
decided to trust all that my ex told him coz he trusts him
just as he trusts himself… (just for couple of minutes, am
slapped and down all over… )
It crossed my mind, whether all foreigners would say just
like that about their native friends? Like paul and my
ex-boyfriend or u and me…
I cried all nite… trying to figure out what just happened
and what’s goin on with the story between me and my
ex-boyfriend. I used to love him so much, ending up all my
wrong deeds at past (could it be karma?) and try to fix
things up with him – am MISTAKEN. I was fooled!
U know what, all my friends at my boarding house were
surprised seeing me cried – am at all HUMAN not a robot
like they always think. They know all the stories and went
outrageous for what had happened. I stopped crying and
called my best friend to call me, we chatted and I was
calming down 
In the next morning, I turn my cellphone on again – I put
it off coz I wont hear no more! There his sms, yelling and
swearing at me ‘SCREW YOU!’ telling me that I don’t credit
the title, as a graduate international relation study and
Cum Laude, am wearing for swearing fuck (I never do that!)
and suck (since when that’s is such a forbidden swearing…
he’s the one learning English literature which now change
into Law study in University of Indonesia). I replied the
sms saying thanks for everything, hurting me, lying at our
relationship, playing behind my back (I knew that after I
called my friend and told her all, she went ballistic and
said that I shouldn’t care for that bastard anymore… and
then goes a story of him!). After that, I erase his
profile from my cellphone!
Now that am trying to cure myself, I want nothing around
me that could remind me of him – do u think it’s wise if I
returned all the things that he gave me? (after all am
nothing but a backstabber for all he knows) What will u do
if u r in my shoes? Will u do the same thing as paul if
things are mixed? Will u trust me fully?
Honestly, I don’t want u to do that – coz I know it’ll
hurt other – cant he just find other side of the story
before ending it up? So stupid, so careless, even if u
trust someone for some reason would want to be wise and
act like a mirror that can reflect many sides for other
people to see? (hahha… I cant even trust myself, for all
he needs to know, coz I know there’s evil in each and
every one of us – I wont let that beats me!)
Too much to ask, ya? Am so sorry if I confuse u… ;D
hahahha….
U cant even figure out why I got so thin, I still have the
smile, the warm attitude, the jokes and laugh and my
attentiveness… u think nothing was wrong except am broken.
Do u really think my friends are right – that I am a
robot? A mountain ice… I keep all inside for myself – no
matter how I express it, it never really is the REAL
thing…




Nb: It is a challenge for a new year… it’s probably not a
good gift compare to that of urs - NOT AT ALL! But I need
to know what u think of it – thanks before…and also after
on ur gift.

Nb: I cant imagine myself telling u this while in aceh and
surroundings there had been earthquake and tsunami…
terrible! I lost contact with some of my friends at
college… I always thought there’d be repayment for any
deeds – it’s closing year near – and god’s collecting his
matters (it’s still not many, but look what it had cost to
human).


========================================================================================
Akses Internet TELKOMNet-Instan beri Diskon s.d. 50 % khusus untuk wilayah Jawa Timur.
Informasi selengkapnya di www.telkomnetinstan.com atau hub 0800-1-INSTAN (467826)
========================================================================================