GUYS can rule

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! 

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.  If it's up, put

it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't

hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it 

that way. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints

do not work! Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every 

question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible

in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 

days. 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect

us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the

ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during 

commercials. 

(hahahah)

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

(huehuehuehu)

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, "we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is 

fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

trucks.

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 

(wakakakakak)

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the

couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind

that? It's like camping.