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NUMB

Nov 5, 2010

I woke up this morning feeling so xhausted..

I cried all nite hoping that God would fast forward the time to another two weeks from now where all these were settled while my loved one & I were subject of enjoyment bliss.


People say when goin thru this event you'll face loads of commotion and stress that I should just enjoy, tell me.. how would a person infiltrate such feeling when he/she is down with illness and people around him/her can't even cooperate to the very least about making everything goes well as planned -- when changes, another and again another are always coming in the way.. Tell me, I wanna know, how people say they appreciate but they themselves put their fingers on without even caring the head-to-toe effort that's been made from the very beginning.

If only they're in my shoes, I wonder what they would do.. It's just easy for everybody to say.

I woke up this morning feeling xhasuted,

I was crawling from being so very happy to quite happy then less happy until now xtreemly tired! I should perhaps never try to please everyone in the first place, coz in the end, I'm the one who ended up feeling NOT HAPPY! and it's NOT WORTH IT! I have too much to think and feel that I finally get to the word NUMB.

Cant they just understand? and for all its worth make me and my loved one HAPPY to celebrate the coming event.. coz nothing else matters - really. If it's not anymore, we might as well forget about all these... and let everyone suit themselves.



"It's two weeks in counting and I'm still dealing with changes, where I thot I'm supposed to be ALREADY relaxing and dealing with no other than prep treatment for the BIG day -- sigh"