Q&A

Question : Why did the chicken cross the road??
Answers :

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is
against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed access to the other side of the
road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador to the UN)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
OSAMA BIN LADEN
If the chicken crossed the road, it is the will of Allah.
We will bomb anyone who tries to prevent it crossing the
road.
MAHATHIR MOHAMAD
What was wrong in the chicken crossing the road? The West
think they can decide the way the chicken should cross.
Well, this means I can't retire yet.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough for us.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
BILL GATES
I have just released MS eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of MS eChicken 2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

SEMUA TERJADI KARENA SUATU ALASAN

Semua di mulai dari impianku. Aku ingin menjadi astronout.
Aku ingin terbang ke angkasa. Tetapi aku tidak memiliki
sesuatu yang tepat, dan aku bukanlah seorang sarjana. Aku
juga bukan seorang pilot. Namun sesuatupun
terjadilah...gedung putih mengumumkan mencari warga biasa
untuk ikut dalam penerbangan 51-L pesawat ulang-alik
Challenger. Dan warga itu adalah seorang guru. Guru itu
adalah aku. Warga biasa, hanya seorang guru.
Hari itu juga aku mengirimkan surat lamaran ke Washinton
DC. Setiap hari aku berlari ke kotak pos, hingga suatu
saat akhirnya datanglah amplop resmi berlogo NASA. Oh...!
doaku terkabul, pikirku...aku lolos pada penyisihan
pertama. Ini benar-benar terjadi padaku. Selama beberapa
minggu berikutnya, perwujudan impianku semakin dekat saat
NASA mengadakan test fisik dan mental. Begitu test
selesai, aku menunggu dan berdoa lagi. Aku tahu semakin
dekat pada impianku. Beberapa waktu kemudian, aku menerima
panggilan untuk mengikuti program latihan astronout khusus
di Kennedy Space Spencer. Dari 43.000 pelamar,kemudian
10.000, dan kini tinggal 100 0rang termasuk diriku. Ada
stimulator, uji klautrofobi latihan ketangkasan, percobaan
mabuk udara... dan siapakah yang bisa di antara kami ?
Aku berdoa..."Tuhan biarlah aku yang terpilih..."
begitulah aku berdoa dan menunggu. Tibalah waktu yang
menghancurkan itu, karena NASA memilih Christina
McAufliffe. Aku kalah. Dan impiankupun hancur seiring
dengan itu. Aku marah pada Tuhan, mengapa bukan aku yang
terpilih. Rasa percaya dirikupun lenyap, dan amarah
menggantikan kebahagiaanku. Apa yang kurang Tuhan ?
Aku berpaling pada ayahku dan bertanya... mengapa bukan
aku ayah ? dan ayahku menjawab "Semua terjadi karena suatu
alasan". Oh Ayah... akupun tinggalkan dia di suatu
ruangan.
Selasa 28 Januari 1986, aku berkumpul bersama teman-teman
dan keluargaku untuk menyaksikan peluncuran itu. Aku
berkhayal kalau aku yang ada di sana. Aku bersedia
melakukan apa saja asal aku yang berada di sana.
73 detik kemudian, saat pesawat itu melewati menara
landasan pacu... di saksikan oleh jutaan mata... Tuhan
menjawab semua pertanyaanku dan menghapus segala
keraguanku, saat pesawat kebanggaanku Challenger meledak,
dan semua penumpangnya tewas.
Aku ingat kata-kata ayahku "Semua terjadi karena suatu
alasan" Aku tidak terpilih pada peluncuran itu, walaupun
aku sangat menginginkan.
Sekarang aku tahu, bahwa Tuhan memiliki alasan yang lain
untuk kehadiranku di bumi ini. Ia memiliki misi yang lain
dalam hidupku. Aku tidak kalah, aku seorang pemenang. Aku
menang, karena aku telah kalah.... Aku ... Frank Slasak,
masih hidup untuk bersyukur pada Tuhan karena tidak semua
doaku di jawab.
Tuhan mengabulkan Doa dalam tiga cara:
Apabila Tuhan mengatakan Ya... maka kita akan mendapatkan
apa yang kita minta. Apabila Tuhan mengatakan Tidak, maka
kita akan mendapatkan yang lebih baik. Apabila Tuhan
mengatakan tunggu, maka kita akan mendapatkan terbaik
sesuai dengan rencana-Nya.
===========================================================================================
"Dapatkan hadiah utama sebuah sepeda motor, dengan mengikuti
Netkuis Ramadhan TELKOM Jakarta di http://netkuis1.plasa.com/jakarta/ramadhan"
===========================================================================================

BAGAIMANA MENDETEKSI CERMIN 2 ARAH

* Ketika kita masuk ke toilet, kamar mandi, kamar hotel,
ruang ganti pakaian, dan lain-lain, seberapa besar anda
yakin bahwa cermin yang menggantung di dinding dan
kelihatannya seperti cermin biasa itu memang benar-benar
cermin biasa, atau sebenarnya itu adalah cermin dua arah
(orang di belakang cermin bisa melihat anda,sementara anda
tidak dapat melihat mereka).

* Banyak kasus dimana orang memasang cermin 2 arah di
dalam ruang ganti pakaian wanita, namun tidak menutup
kemungkinan juga di ruang ganti pria.

* Adalah sangat sulit untuk secara jelas mengindentifikasi
permukaannya hanya dengan melihatnya saja. Saatnyalah kita
untuk berhati-hati.

* Lalu, bagaimana kita dapat menentukan dengan pasti
apakah cermin tersebut adalah cermin biasa atau cermin 2
arah ?.

* LAKUKANLAH TES SEDERHANA (TEST KUKU JARI)

Letakkan ujung kuku anda di atas permukaan cermin. Jika
ada jarak (gap) antara kuku anda dan bayangan kuku anda di
cermin, bisa dikatakan bahwa cermin itu adalah cermin
biasa (aman). Tetapi, jika kuku anda langsung menyentuh
bayangan kuku anda di cermin, hati-hatilah, karena benda
itu adalah cermin 2 arah !

* Karena itu ingatlah selalu, setiap kali anda melihat
cermin di tempat-tempat umum seperti disebutkan di atas,
lakukanlah TEST KUKU JARI". Tidak perlu membayar. Mudah
dilakukan, dan ini mungkin bisa menyelamatkan anda dari
"PERKOSAAN VISUAL" !

===========================================================================================
"Dapatkan hadiah utama sebuah sepeda motor, dengan mengikuti
Netkuis Ramadhan TELKOM Jakarta di http://netkuis1.plasa.com/jakarta/ramadhan"
===========================================================================================

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted
the figure, the answer is 6!!

===========================================================================================
"Dapatkan hadiah utama sebuah sepeda motor, dengan mengikuti
Netkuis Ramadhan TELKOM Jakarta di http://netkuis1.plasa.com/jakarta/ramadhan"
===========================================================================================

The BARBER
There is this good old barber in some city in the US. One
day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he
goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am
sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing
community service."
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank
you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry.
I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community
service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the
barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card
and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.
An Indonesian software engineer goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the barber! after the cut. But the barber
replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am
doing community service."
The Indonesian software engineer is happy and leaves. The
next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess
what he finds there...
Can you guess? Do you know the answer yet?
Come on, think like an Indonesian....
A DOZEN INDONESIAN WAITING FOR FREE HAIRCUT !!!


===========================================================================================
"Dapatkan hadiah utama sebuah sepeda motor, dengan mengikuti
Netkuis Ramadhan TELKOM Jakarta di http://netkuis1.plasa.com/jakarta/ramadhan"
===========================================================================================

Question : What is globalisation?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scottish
whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!

And this is sent to you by a Macedonian, using Bill Gates'
technology which he stole from the Japanese.
And you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones
that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean made monitors,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant,
transported by lorries driven by Indians, hijacked by
Indonesians and finally sold to u by Chinamen!
That is Globalisation!!!
===========================================================================================
"Dapatkan hadiah utama sebuah sepeda motor, dengan mengikuti
Netkuis Ramadhan TELKOM Jakarta di http://netkuis1.plasa.com/jakarta/ramadhan"
===========================================================================================

GUYS can rule

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! 

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.  If it's up, put

it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't

hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it 

that way. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints

do not work! Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every 

question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible

in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 

days. 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect

us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the

ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during 

commercials. 

(hahahah)

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

(huehuehuehu)

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, "we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is 

fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

trucks.

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 

(wakakakakak)

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the

couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind

that? It's like camping. 

lesson for guys

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in any way.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved. (and money huh?!?) LOL!! ;D